The Little Hearts in My Journal

Something happened last night that i really want to share.
Yesterday was Tuesday- one of the most average days of the week for me. I don't have any classes, so usually i just sit at home, do homework (or put off doing it) and clean (or avoid cleaning... though i am proud to say that yesterday i both did homework AND cleaned. yay me.) So by 10:00 at night, i expected the usual quiet time; read my Bible, pray, write down cool verses in my journal, etc. Then, i knew, i'd stop reading, put my Bible and journal away, and start praying in my head, only to get distracted and end up falling asleep just after i got past 'God, thank you for this day...' It's not like i have no relationship with God, but i find my human self ready for bed before God is, so i tend to rush through my quiet time so i can sleep.
But last night, i read from my bible a little, meditated (yes, i found out it's possible) on two of them, and then i started just... talking to God about my day. Not really formally like 'Dear God... thank you for____, praise you for ____, i pray for____, and forgive me of____... AMEN, i'm going to bed.' I found myself writing out my prayer as: "God, you showed me this today, and i don't know why, but it was cool. Thank you. And this happened, and i knew that was you, thank you." Of course, i asked God about certain prayer requests, and i asked for help on fleeing temptation, etc. And all of a sudden, i realized that there was no way it could of been me finding words to tell God- i was nearly half asleep as i was writing. The Holy Spirit was so in me that he showed me what to say to God, otherwise i would have been speechless and off the walls ADD.
Sometime as i was writing out my prayer, i started talking about Deborah, one of the judges of the Israelites, and how much i had been hearing of her and how cool she was. One thing that stood out to me was that her name meant 'Honey Bee.' As i was saying that 'Honey is God's flavor,' i had to stop myself. Something was wrong with what i had just written. It said, "and honey is God's flavor..." I scratched it out and wrote, 'Honey is YOUR flavor...'
Then something big hit me. Something incredibly awesome.
The God of the Old testament, the God of the universe, the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob- I was talking to him. Something finally connected and i realized that i had been talking to the God of the universe, and he was actually listening! Not only was he listening, he was talking back while keeping the world in motion, keeping the birds fed, the flowers clothed, fatherless kids protected, he was healing the sick, softening hard hearts, and sooo many other things. God created us to have a wonderful relationship with him, and if he only had fifteen minutes with us a week, he wouldn't try to 'fit us in,' he'd pay full attention to us and full attention to every one and every thing else BECAUSE HE CAN. All of a sudden i was like "Wow! You're God!!!!"
Then i started to feel something very deep in me. It crawled up and all around me, and all of a sudden i felt a million things at once- love, joy, peace, gratitude, hope, the presence of God... right then i felt so special, so loved, and i really truly felt love right back. I felt special, like i could just sit there and do nothing, and God would just keep on loving me and showing me how good he was.
You know when you have a crush on a guy, and you're looking at the back of his head in school or church, and you find yourself drawing hearts on your paper and thinking of all the wonderful things about him? That happened with God last night, and i have these little hearts all over my journal. This is a really long post, but last night i realized who my first love really is, and i wanted to share that with you guys. <3